Chain of Fools
by mcdreamsteam
Summary: Avoidance is a multiplayer game and Meredith's winning. What happens when she can't avoid anymore and is forced to confront the ghosts of her past? AU. Lots of twists and turns.
1. Chapter 1

**So this starts out a bit confusing ... and the confusion continues for awhile ... but it will make sense eventually. I promise! Enjoy! **

**When a man loves a woman  
Can't keep his mind on nothin' else  
He'd trade the world  
For a good thing he's found  
If she is bad, he can't see it  
She can do no wrong  
Turn his back on his best friend If he puts her down**

_She smiles broadly as her brand spanking new husband spun her around. It was their first dance as husband and wife. He dipped her low and brought her up to whisper in her ear that he was the luckiest man alive. Their relationship had been fast and furious and within six months they were engaged. She was in love and it was a high she never wanted to come down from._

**When a man loves a woman  
Spend his very last dime  
Trying to hold on to what he needs  
He'd give up all his comforts  
And sleep out in the rain  
If she said that's the way  
It ought to be**

_Her love pulled her close to him and she closed her eyes, breathing in his scent, smiling blissfully. They had met at the hospital where they both worked. He had courted her and she had tried unsuccessfully to avoid him. They were in the same intern group and she was around him more than anyone else. She knew his ins and outs, his buttons, his quirks, and he knew the same of her. In that moment, she felt this bliss would last forever. Her mind was free of doubts and she lost herself in his arms._

She sat on the porch swing in front of their house by herself, clutching her knees to her chest as she cuddled under a blanket in the cool, crisp night air. A lone tear fell from her cheek as she was jolted out of the memory from exactly seven years prior by a barking dog. Again he had forgotten.

A man approached closely behind the dog. He was most definately not her husband, but he was a friend to the couple. She flashed him a sad smile as he sat down next to her, knowing what his arrival cemented.

"He forgot."

"He got pulled for an emergency surgery."

"I thought ... I thought he would remember this year. I thought after last year, he would really try this year. He promised he would. And I was stupid enough to believe him."

"He's the stupid one."

"Brain surgeons aren't stupid."

"On the contrary. It's one of the world's most ironic facts. Brain surgeons are incredibly brainless and plastic surgeons are incredibly deep. We just like to let the stereotypes live on."

"Seven years. Seven years is all it took for my marriage to fall apart."

"Your marriage is not falling apart."

"The first five years were great. Perfection. Total bliss. And then we both became attendings in different fields and suddenly, we were running two different programs and he was forgetting our anniversary. And now he wants to start his own private practice. I never see him anymore. It's always one surgery after another. I can make time for him, but he can't seem to find time for me. As long as he remains the country's top neurosurgeon, everything's fine. He put his career first. We put our careers in front of starting a family but we put ourselves in front of our careers. And now he put his career first."

"He loves you."

"We had five years of total bliss. That's more than a lot of people get in a lifetime. I should be happy."

"You two can get through this."

"You think I'm overreacting don't you?"

"No. I think there's going to be a lot of work, most of it on his part. But you have to remember that he hasn't given up. He still wants to be with you."

"Only because it would take too much time to get a divorce."

"Don't say that."

"We haven't had a meal together in over a year."

"You had lunch together last month."

"Oh I'm sorry. Out of 1095 meals, we had 1 together."

"Technically, you don't usually eat breakfast."

"I used to when I ate it with him. Now he just gets it at the office."

"I'll eat breakfast with you."

"You are not my husband. As much as you try to defend him, you cannot physically stand in for him in my marriage."

"I'm just saying ... breakfast is the most important meal of the day and I wouldn't want your health to suffer just because your husband currently has his head up his ass."

"Currently?"

"Well I assume it wasn't there when you married him."

"You talked me into marrying him. Every step of our relationship, you've been there talking me through it, pushing me forward."

"Oh you're not seriously blaming me for this are you?"

"No. I'm just starting to not trust your judgement."

"Maybe that's a good thing."

"So your advice is for me to not take your advice?"

"No."

"Well then, doctor, what is your advice?"

"Talk to him."

"Easier said than done."

"I'll tie him to a chair if you want."

"That'd be nice."


	2. Chapter 2

** AN: So a couple of questions get answered here ... and a few more come up. This is setting the groundwork.**

--------------------------------------------------

She sat on her porch, nursing a bottle of tequila. She knew he was coming. He'd come the past five years. The first year she believed him when he said her husband had surgery. The second year she knew he was lying but appreciated the thought. They started eating breakfast together and hadn't missed a day in the past four years. The third year they had a moment but she pulled away. They started eating lunch together. The fourth year they had a moment and she waited a few seconds before pulling away. They started eating dinner together. She had spent more time with him in the past year than she had with her husband in the past eleven years. She realized this wasn't how it should be, but he made time for her and he cared for her and after that kiss, there was no turning back.

Things had started to get hot and heavy about six months ago when her husband was at a conference. He cooked her dinner at his place and she didn't go home until a few hours before her husband was due back. Everytime he would go on a conference, they would shack up. And he went on a lot of conferences. And she was tired of keeping her little adventures secret.

So tonight was the night of their eleventh anniversary. And she was going to ask for a divorce. She knew he was coming home because she had taken his blackberry and put it in his seldom used home office. He was nothing without it and he would surely be by to pick it up soon. And she wanted to make sure he was there for the show. She knew it was cruel, but she wanted to get caught. She was tired of hiding, tired of denying her love for another man. Everything in her had come to a boiling point and she had to let it go. This was by far the most malicious thing she had done, but she knew he wouldn't care. He hadn't cared for six years.

She smiled wickedly as the man who was most definately not her husband approached. She had been promising this for quite awhile, and while he had objected at first, he had given in just as she had. He picked her up as she wrapped her legs firmly around his waist and he carried her upstairs, nibbling on her neck.

GAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGA

Her husband had finally decided to look her in the eye for the first time in five years. He wanted to make sure she head every word he uttered. He didn't understand that she had heard every word he had ever said, especially these last few years when his words to her were so scarce. And suddenly, she found herself regretting her actions. It was those deep green eyes that did her in every time.

Meredith: Mark, Mark, Mark, you can't do this, Mark. Mark, we have to, we have to talk about this. You have to give me a chance to explain. What are you doing? What are you doing with my clothes, Mark?! It was one time. I know that's what people say. I know that is what always gets said. It's just I don't even know how it happened, I don't know what I was thinking. It was just he was just here, it was just...

Mark: You screw my best friend and all you have to say is, 'He was just here.' throws Meredith's clothes outside Get out.

Meredith: No.

Mark: Get out!

Meredith: No, no I'm not going.

Mark: Get out of my house now!

Meredith: No, I'm holding my ground because we don't quit. We have to work this out.

Mark: Get out.

grabs Meredith and starts pulling her towards the door

Meredith: What are you doing? Mark?

Mark shuts door on Meredith

Meredith: No, no. Meredith starts crying as she is out in the rain Please, Mark, please. Please.

Mark opens the door

Meredith: I'm sorry. I'm sorry. You have to give me a chance. You have to give me a chance to show you how sorry I am. Okay? Okay?

Mark: I'm gonna go, you stay. I'll get my clothes in the morning.

Meredith: No, no, no, no, no, no. We can survive this, Mark. We can survive this. We're, we're Meredith and Mark.

Mark: I can't look at you. I look at you and I feel nauseous. It's just...wha...wha...wha? shakes head We're not Mark and Meredith anymore.

Meredith: If you go now, if you go now we are not gonna get through this. If you go now, we don't have a chance. We don't have a chance, if you go now, if you go...

Mark walks out the door

GAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGA

Over the next few days, Meredith found herself living in a hotel and very confused. Mark had finally paid attention to her, and though it was negative, she craved it. And the other one ... well suddenly he didn't seem so appealing now that Mark knew. His clinginess had become annoying. His pleas for a future together had become realistic. And she couldn't handle it. How had she gotten herself into this mess? And how the hell was she going to get away?

The answer came in the form of a phone call from an old friend. She was running a hospital in Massachusetts and needed a new head of cardio. Meredith jumped at the idea of moving from California and felt certain that no one would follow her. This was exactly what she needed and she couldn't wait to leave. She needed to clear her head, get a fresh start, get away from the two men who had been controlling her life for the past eleven years. She needed space.

GAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGA

Meredith: Hey.

Lover Boy: Hey.

Meredith: So we need to talk.

Lover Boy: Is that why you've been avoiding me?

Meredith: I haven't been avoiding you.

Lover Boy: Sure. Whatever you say.

Meredith: Seriously!

Lover Boy: OK.

Meredith: So you're probably wondering why I've been avoiding you.

Lover Boy: I thought you weren't avoiding me.

Meredith: Just ... were you always this annoying?

Lover Boy: No.

Meredith: I thought ... I thought I knew what I wanted.

Lover Boy: So I was just your forbidden fruit?

Meredith: No!

Lover Boy: Then what the hell was I Meredith? Because ever since your husband caught us in bed together ... which by the way was your idea in case you forgot ... you've been avoiding me like I'm the bubonic plague.

Meredith: Did you hear there's a possible case going around?

Lover Boy: Meredith!

Meredith: Fine. I ... I'm not sure what I want anymore.

Lover Boy: I betray my best friend ... my best friend Meredith ... because I think I've found the love of my life ... and now she tells me she doesn't know what she wants.

Meredith: I need time ... to think. I need space.

Lover Boy: Of course you do.

Meredith: Excuse me?

Lover Boy: Everything's all about you Meredith Shepherd! And I've gone along with it because I loved you and I just wanted to make you happy --

Meredith: Loved?

Lover Boy: Oh you've got to be kidding me! You're dumping me and you're upset because I'm not madly in love with you anymore!

Meredith: You're not?

Lover Boy: You are so self-absorbed! Do you even care about what effect this whole thing had on me?

Meredith: I'm sorry I ruined your life. I just wanted to let you know I won't be bothering you anymore. I got a job in Massachusetts.

Meredith runs off, trying to hide the tears flowing down her face. Lover Boy stares after her, cemented in place.

Lover Boy: Meredith! Meredith!


	3. Chapter 3

_Six and a half years into the marriage ..._

Mark had noticed his wife had become slightly more distant. They still talked, but they were getting busier and they had been so close before and he saw it slipping away. He had forgotten their last two anniversaries and he wanted to make up for it in any way possible. He was determined to make the marriage last, so he was cooking dinner that night. They would start with a nice shrimp cocktail and then have ceaser salad, followed by the main course of lobster tail, blue cheese mashed potatoes, and his mother's recipe for broccoli casserole. He'd been planning it for a couple of weeks and was nervously awaiting her arrival. The past few nights, she'd been on-call at the hospital, but tonight she was free and he had told her he had something planned. He had sent her gifts throughout the day ... flowers, candy, jewelry ... with little cards hinting at what was to come. The clues were short, silly poems and he was rather proud of them. He had only seen her once that day -- when she ran up to him at lunch to give him a quick kiss and to thank him for the flowers. She promised she'd be home by 6 and ran off to scrub in on surgery.

The large clock in the kitchen now read 7:45 and Mark was slumped in a chair, drinking the bottle of wine he had just opened, not even bothering to get out a glass. She hadn't called. He assumed she had run late in her surgery and she didn't want to trouble one of the nurses to call. After all, he never did. He only called when he would be staying at the hospital. And so, when his phone rang at 8:15, he knew what was coming. One of her patients had had complications and the surgery had run long and now he was having more complications in recovery and she would have to operate again. She was the type to always follow a case through to the end, and he loved that about her. He was the same way, though, and it was a major reason why their marriage was in the state it was today. She didn't know how long she'd be and he told her they would re-schedule, that she should feel free to get a drink with her friends before coming home. She promised him they would do it tomorrow night and he tried to believe her. 

GAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGA

_Three Year Anniversary ..._

Each had planned a "date". Mark started things off with a picnic down by the docks.

Meredith: I can't wait to see what you "cooked".

Mark: Hey I can cook.

Meredith: I bet you packed peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.

Mark: They're your favorite.

Meredith: Sweetie, I only tell you that to make you feel better.

Mark: Seriously?

Meredith: No. I love them. Just like I love the strawberries and champagne you packed.

Mark: How did you know? Am I that predictable? Are we getting into a rut? Three years and we're already an old married couple.

Meredith giggles.

Meredith: Did you just call me old?

Mark: What? NO! No ... no ... I meant ...

Meredith: God you are way too easy.

Mark: I resent that.

Meredith: No you don't.

Mark: Very true.

Meredith: So these strawberries aren't going to put themselves into my mouth ...

Mark: We're very demanding today.

Meredith: I thought I'd try something new. Izzie's being rude and sarcastic and cold. I'm being a diva. Sarah's being sweet.

Mark: Sarah cannot do sweet.

Meredith: Of course she can't. And to think, I'm missing out on watching it all go down just so that I can sit here and eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches with you.

Mark: Oh, you poor thing.

Meredith: This diva thing is kind of fun.

Mark: I always knew you had a power hungry whore in you just itching to come out.

Meredith: It's very addicting.

Mark: Just think ... in a few years, you can really be a diva. And I'll be your King.

Meredith: Ooh! We can be the royal bitches of medicine!

Mark: You do know I'd have to divorce you if you kept this up.

Meredith pretends to looked shocked.

Meredith: Oh please. You wouldn't know what to do without me.

Mark: Did I tell you Derek called?

Meredith: No! What did he want?

Mark: Just called to wish us a Happy Anniversary.

Meredith: And ...

Mark: And ...

Meredith: What aren't you telling me?

Mark: He told me if I screwed this up, he was getting me a mug that said "World's Biggest Idiot." And he saw your mother last week.

Meredith: So how about those strawberries?


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: Mark is a neurosurgeon. Meredith's a cardiothoracic surgeon. They're married. Both cheated. And you're supposed to be confused about the last names. That will be cleared up later.**

**I have most of this story written. There's lots more to come. But I won't post it if no one's going to bother commenting. So if you want me to continue the story, let me know. **

Over the next few days, Mark found himself living in a hotel and very confused. He knew Meredith had vacated the house, but he couldn't stand to be there ... to sleep in that bed. She had slept with another man and he was feeling unsure as to what exactly his feelings were. And he knew he shouldn't have reacted the way he did ... he wasn't so innocent himself. He never planned on telling Meredith, however. It was simpler that way. He didn't know what state his marriage was in other than that he and his wife were not speaking. Now that he thought about it, though, they hadn't spoken in awhile. The only thing he knew for sure was that he needed space. How had he gotten himself into this mess? And how the hell was he going to get away?

The answer came in the form of a phone call from an old friend. He was running a hospital in Seattle and needed a new head of neuro. Mark jumped at the idea of moving from California and felt certain that no one would follow him. This was exactly what he needed and he couldn't wait to leave. He needed to clear her head, get a fresh start, get away from the two women who had been controlling his life lately. He needed space.

GAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGA

Mark: Hey.

Lover Girl: Hey.

Mark: So we need to talk.

Lover Girl: Is that why you've been avoiding me?

Mark: I haven't been avoiding you.

Lover Girl: Sure. Whatever you say.

Mark: Seriously!

Lover Girl: OK.

Mark: So you're probably wondering why I've been avoiding you.

Lover Girl: I thought you weren't avoiding me.

Mark: Just ... were you always this annoying?

Lover Girl: No.

Mark: I thought ... I thought I knew what I wanted.

Lover Girl: So I was just your forbidden fruit?

Mark: No!

Lover Girl: Then what the hell was I Mark? Because ever since you caught your wife in bed with your best friend. You said you were going to leave her for me and you had the perfect out ... and you've been avoiding me like I'm the bubonic plague.

Mark: Did you hear there's a possible case going around?

Lover Girl: Mark!

Mark: Fine. I ... I'm not sure what I want anymore.

Lover Girl: I was the other woman Mark ... your little dirty mistress ... because I think I've found the love of my life ... and now he tells me he doesn't know what he wants.

Mark: I need time ... to think. I need space.

Lover Girl: Of course you do.

Mark: Excuse me?

Lover Girl: Everything's all about you Mark Sloane! And I've gone along with it because I loved you and I just wanted to make you happy --

Mark: Loved?

Lover Girl: Oh you've got to be kidding me! You're dumping me and you're upset because I'm not madly in love with you anymore!

Mark: You're not?

Lover Girl: You are so self-absorbed! Do you even care about what effect this whole thing had on me?

Mark: Whatever. I just wanted to let you know I won't be bothering you anymore. I got a job in Seattle.

Mark stalks off down the hallway, storming every door he comes in contact with.

GAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGA

Meredith went back to her house to pack her things, thinking that Mark would be at the hospital. She started packing boxes to be shipped, and as luck would have it, fifteen minutes after she arrived at the house, the front door opened.

Meredith: Shit.

She thought she'd ignore it, thay maybe he wouldn't come upstairs. He just forgot something. And then she heard footsteps on the stairs followed by her bedroom door being pushed open. Both stood motionless and silent for what seemed like half an eternity before he spoke up.

Mark: Well at least you're not screwing anyone. I'll come back later.

He turns for the door and spies the cardboard boxes scattered across the floor. He turns back to face her.

Mark: Did Izzie say something?

Meredith: Izzie?

Mark: Never mind.

Meredith: Mark.

Mark: I told her I was moving and she has a big mouth, so I thought maybe she said something to you.

Meredith: Are you really that much of a coward that you had to tell me you were moving THROUGH Izzie?!

Mark: No. I wasn't planning on telling you. I thought I'd leave a short note.

Meredith: Then why the hell did you --- she begins to yell OH MY GOD! You are such a hypocrite! Seriously! You sleep with my best friend and then you freak out on me for sleeping with your best friend! And I'm NOT the one who forgot about our last 6 anniversaries!

Mark: yelling I was WORKING! I didn't forget!

Meredith: That's a bunch of bull shit and you know it.

Mark: So that's why you slept with him? I missed our anniversary?

Meredith: Do I need to give you a freaking list?! Because you'd be here for awhile. And why the hell did you sleep with Izzie? Izzie?!

Mark: Don't change the subject.

Meredith: I am NOT changing the subject!

Mark: We were talking about you and you wanted to talk about me.

Meredith: What the hell is wrong with you? What the hell is wrong with US?!

Mark: What's wrong with me? I don't know if I love my wife anymore!

Meredith: Tell me something I don't know!

Mark: Why do you have to have a smartass comment for everything I say?

Meredith: Because it's what I freaking do!

Mark: If you didn't know I was moving, what are the moving boxes for?

Meredith: I'm moving.

Mark: Oh and I'm the hypocrite?

Meredith: Don't you dare try to turn this on me. I was going to tell you.

Mark: Yea and I'm sure you told him first.

Meredith throws her hands above her head and starts pacing around the room.

Meredith: I ... we ... how did we get here?

She stops and looks him straight on, eyes glistening with tears threatening to fall, their bodies only inches apart. Instinctively he reaches out to embrace her, assuming that she will sob into his shoulder. Instead, she surprises him, as she had done so many times before, and leans her head up, her lips meeting his. The kiss deepens and they break apart only to shed each other's clothing before he pushes her onto the bed, pressing his body onto her's.


	5. Chapter 5

**AN: I know it's confusing. It's supposed to be confusing. But bit by bit, the puzzle pieces will start to fit together. Don't be turned off by the confusion. It only lasts so long. I promise. And once the confusion settles, the story continues. But it has to be this way ... revealing information bit by bit.** **Read and Review. Reviews updates. Simple as that.**

* * *

Both still felt they needed space, perhaps even more so than before. They decided not to share their respective destinations with each other, if for no other reason to ensure that they got the space they needed. They departed the next day on separate flights, having packed their things separately the day before.

Meredith stepped off the plane and entered the Massachusetts airport, hurrying to get her bags and hailing a cab. Her friend was unable to meet her, but had given her strict instructions to report directly to the hospital after she had gotten herself settled in in her temporary hotel housing. The cab ride was silent and she thanked the driver before getting out and checking into the hotel. Her friend was paying for it and she had rented the penthouse. The bellboy followed her up to her room and she jumped onto the giant bed in the center of the room, thankful, for once, to be alone. Her eyes drifted closed almost immediately and she fell into a blissful sleep.

She awoke a couple hours later, changed her clothes, and headed downstairs to find out where she could rent a car. Once the arrangements were made, the car was delivered and she drove to the hospital where she was to report as the new head of cardio. She walked inside, taking in the familiar scent that she took so much comfort in. The elevator doors opened as she approached, as if expecting her. She stepped inside and pushed the button for her floor before retreating to the back of the crowded elevator. Quietly, she observed the people around her. It was easy to pick out the interns and the nurses. She breathed a short sigh of relief as she realized she knew none of the elevator's current occupants. As the doors opened on her floor, she pushed her way through the crowd and stepped out, instinctively knowing which way to turn. She found the office she was looking for and knocked on the door.

She opened the door and smiled at her friend sitting behind the desk.

Christina: Meredith Shepherd, it's about damn time you decided to come work for me.

Meredith: Actually it's Sloan ... or actually, let's just go with Grey.

Christina: Whatever you say Shepherd.

Meredith: So when do I start?

Christina: When do you want to start?

Meredith: Now. Definately now.

Christina: Perfect. We just got a case. Conjoined twins. Two months old. Share several cardiovascular muscles, including left aortic ventricle. Very high profile.

Meredith: So that's why you were so anxious to get me here.

Christina: Well if we're going to get press, I want it to be because we have the best doctors AND the best cases. The two go hand in hand.

Meredith: So why me and not him?

Christina: He's not having an emotional crisis right now and he just signed a two-year-contract somewhere else. But don't expect me to believe you actually think he's better than you.

Meredith: No. Definately not. But he's more well-known.

Christina: I'm trying to create a brand here. But I can call him up to assist if you want.

Meredith: No. It's his loss.

Christina: Absolutely. So you ready to meet the patients?

Meredith: Let's go.

* * *

Mark got off the plane in Seattle, his head slightly blurry from all the alcohol he had consumed on the plane, trying to drown out his sorrows. He headed to his hotel room and crashed for the night, planning to visit the hospital in the morning.

He woke up the next morning and immediately swallowed the tylenol he had remembered to place by his bed. He got up slowly and headed to the shower. It lasted longer than usual, as he just let the water wash over him. Finally, he turned the water off and stepped out, drying himself and getting dressed, not even bothering to put any product in his hair. He hopped into the car that had been rented for him and headed to Seattle Grace.

He walked in a daze towards the elevator, ignoring the whispers that erupted from the mouths of the women he passed. This was very un-Mark, but just in this moment, he didn't want to be Mark. The doors opened and he got out on his floor, heading to the chief's office, not even bothering to knock before entering.

George: You never were one to knock.

Mark: And why should that change now?

George: You look like shit.

Mark: Thanks.

George: Trouble in paradise?

Mark: Oh I left paradise a long time ago, but I just found out I've been permanently banned.

George: I'm sorry ...

Mark: Don't say that. That's annoying.

George: Right. Well, I'm glad you finally decided to take me up on my offer.

Mark: I'm glad you finally decided to give me a decent offer.

George: Right. So when did you want to start?

Mark: Whenever.

George: How about in a week?

Mark: You're not very bossy.

George: You'll start in a week.

Mark: See you in a week O'Malley.

* * *

Christina and Meredith sat in Christina's office the next day, eating lunch.

Christina: Have you talked to him lately?

Meredith: Mark? No. I told you. No contact information.

Christina: Not Mark. Him.

Meredith: Who?

Christina: HIM him.

Meredith: Ohh! No. When exactly did we stop referring to him by his name?

Christina: When you jinxed him junior year. And it was fun so we just kept it up.

Meredith: Oh right! I remember that!

Christina: And we got everyone we knew to join in.

Meredith: And then he got that random girl to have sex with him just so she would scream out his name.

Christina: And we told him that was cheating.

Meredith: And he talked anyways.

Christina: That was a very fun two weeks. Professor Slotsky thought he was such an idiot.

Meredith: It was a mean little prank the first two weeks of school.

Christina: Yea but that's why it was fun.

Meredith: Good point. Have you talked to him lately?

Christina: A few months ago when I found out he signed that contract.

Meredith: He'll be kicking himself when he finds out.

Christina: I can only hope someone catches it on video.

* * *

A week later, Mark was conversing with the head of cardio.

Attending: So what brings a hot-shot California doctor to Seattle?

Mark: I wanted a change of scenery.

Attending: That's all you're going to tell me?

Mark: You're very nosy.

Attending: Well, I've gotten the impression that you're a stuck-up ass, and I figured I'd give you a chance to prove me wrong.

Mark: No, that pretty much sums it up.

Attending: Good to know.

Mark: So any good bars around here?

Attending: So now you want to be friendly?

Mark: Well, I've gotten the impression that you're a womanizing bachelor, and I figured I'd give you a chance to prove me right.

Attending: Joe's, across the street.

Mark: Great. See you at 9, wing man.

Attending: I don't do wing man.

Mark: You do tonight.


	6. Chapter 6

**AN: So yea. Still confusing. But like I said, it will be cleared up. And I have a ton already written. So the more reviews I get, the faster things will become clear.**

* * *

The next morning, Mark woke up in another woman's bed. Last night had gone well, and as he appraised his ONS in his no longer drunken state, he noticed that she was still attractive. She had wavy red hair and was currently sleeping peacefully. Her alarm clock went off a few seconds later and she flew out of bed, forgetting to take the blanket with her to cover her naked body. She quickly recovered, smiling shyly at him. She was definately not shy the night before, he remembered.

Mark: This is ...

Girl: ... humiliating on so many levels. You have to go.

Mark: Why don't you just come back down here and we'll pick up where we left off?

Girl: You know, we don't have to do the thing.

Mark: Oh, we can do anything you want.

Girl: No, the thing! Exchange the details, pretend we care. Look, I'm going to go upstairs and take a shower, OK? And when I get back down here, you won't be here. So goodbye, um... loooong silence

Mark: Mark.

Girl: Mark! Right, Addison.

* * *

A few days later, that same attending who Mark had spoken with was walking to his office when his phone rang.

Attending: Hello?

Christina: Hey you.

Attending: Christina?

Christina: How'd you know it was me?

Attending: Most people refer to me by my name.

Christina: Where's the fun in that?

Attending: So why are you calling?

Christina: I can't call to catch up with an old friend?

Attending: You have something to brag about.

Christina: I was just wondering if you'd seen this month's medical journal.

Attending: I knew it. No I haven't. I was actually just about to look through my mail when you called.

Christina: Go ahead.

Attending: This must be really good.

Christina: Just pick up the damn magazine.

He shifted through the papers on his desk until he found today's mail that his secretary had placed on his desk and pulled out the new medical journal. He smiled as he saw the woman on the cover.

Attending: Is that Meredith Shepherd?

Christina: The one and only.

He opened the magazine and flipped to the article.

Attending: Then why does it say Meredith Grey?

Christina: Because the rest of the world isn't in on your little inside joke.

Attending: Didn't she get married a while ago?

Christina: Uh-huh. To Mark Sloan.

Attending: Did you say Mark Sloan?

Christina: Yea. They're divorced now. Or separated. They're ... something.

Attending: So that's why he just transferred here.

Christina: He works with you? Oh she's going to laugh.

Attending: She works with you?

Christina: She works for me. My newest staff member is on the cover of the medical journal.

Attending: So shouldn't she be calling me to gloat?

Christina: It's a team win --

Attending: Uh-huh. You take the glory for her actions.

Christina: Hey I brought her here.

Attending: You haven't changed a bit.

Christina: My paycheck's bigger.

Attending: So is she going to call me to gloat?

Christina: Meredith doesn't gloat. I do it for her.

Attending: Ahh, I see.

Christina: But if you could make sure that Mark sees that, I'm sure she'd tell me to thank you.

Attending: I'll see what I can do. Do you know why they're separated?

Christina: They're both whores.

Attending: Yea I kind of got that impression.

Christina: I'm so telling her you said that.

Attending: I was talking about Mark!

Christina: Yea I don't think so. Oh this is going to be fun. Maybe you'll get a call from her, after all. I have to go ... duty calls.

She hangs up.

Attending: Christina! Christina!

Later that day, Christina caught up with Meredith.

Christina: So guess who called you a whore today?

Meredith: Umm you?

Christina: Right. But guess who else?

Meredith: Burke?

Christina: Right. But guess who else?

Meredith: Am I going to have to go through every person we've ever known?

Christina: If you wanted to be really accurate --

Meredith: Christina!

Christina: OK fine. Mark is a bigger whore than you are.

Meredith: Thank you. Wait, did Mark call me a whore? That ass.

Christina: No. Well he might have. But I haven't talked to him. So for the purpose of this conversation, no. But someone who works with him does.

Meredith: I don't even know where he works Christina. How would I know who works with him?

Christina: OK fine. He called you a whore.

Meredith: But you just said he didn't!

Christina: Not him. HIM him.

Meredith: OH! This is getting confusing.

Christina: Jinxed boy.

Meredith: Am I supposed to be surprised that he called me a whore?

Christina: He's done this before?

Meredith: Where have you been? He called me a whore like every other day during med school.

Christina: Oh yea! And I said it was because he was jealous and you said that wasn't possible and he was a bigger whore than you were. You two would spend hours trying to prove the other was the bigger whore.

Meredith: And then we'd end up sleeping together.

Christina: Proving you were both whores. Still are, actually.

Meredith: You mean he hasn't been tamed?

Christina: Still as wild as he was 14 years ago.

Meredith: Hmm ...

Christina: You don't want to go there.

Meredith: What are you talking about?

Christina: I see that look in your eyes. Did you forget I said he works with Mark?

Meredith: He works with Mark?!

Christina: Oh that face is priceless.

She whips out her phone and takes a picture.

Meredith: Christina!

Christina: Oh he is so getting that and I'm telling him that was your face when I told you he said you were a whore.


	7. Chapter 7

**By the way, if anyone does correctly guess any part of what's going on, I'll let you know. So feel free to comment with your guesses. Or on the story. Either way, comments updates.**

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Two weeks later, Meredith was walking down the hallway when she saw a face she DEFINATELY did not want to see. She quickly hid in the nearby stairwell, waiting until it was safe to go back out. She ran straight up to Christina's office.

Meredith: What the hell is he doing here?

Christina: Nice to see you too.

Meredith: Answer the freaking question!

Christina: I don't know what you're talking about.

Meredith: Him! You know, the new guy walking around in blue scrubs and a lab coat, the new plastic surgeon guy.

Christina: Oh, him! I thought we still used his name?

Meredith: What is he doing here?

Christina: I asked him to come for a consult.

Meredith: Christina!

Christina: I don't see what the problem is here. I mean I know it's been awhile, but we're all old friends.

Meredith: Actually it hasn't been that long.

Christina: What?

Meredith: That's him ... Mark's best friend.

Christina: Oh this just keeps getting better and better.

Meredith: You have to send me on a consult somewhere.

Christina: Maybe he doesn't want anything to do with you.

Meredith: I doubt that. You have to get me out of here!

Christina: And miss the show? I don't think so. Get back out there and welcome him!

Meredith: You've got to be kidding me!

Christina: Do I look like I'm kidding?

Meredith: You look like a little kid on Christmas morning.

Christina: Did I mention he's consulting on your new case?

Meredith did her best to avoid him for the rest of the day, but she failed miserably. 15 minutes after she talked to Christina, she was on the elevator when he got on. She tried to run off before he could spot her, but his eyes were quick and so were the doors. She retreated to the back corner and tried to glare a hole into the floor.

Lover Boy: Surgery together. You excited?

Meredith: Not really.

Lover Boy: And we don't have to hide anything anymore. You could fuck me right here, right now, and nobody would care.

Meredith: I think people would care.

Lover Boy: What they don't see won't hurt them.

Meredith: I think we should keep this professional.

Lover Boy: Professional I can do. I remember professional. It involves sneaking off to on-call rooms and timing entraces and exits.

Meredith: No. Professional professional.

He turns to face her.

Lover Boy: So are there rules one must follow to be professional professional?

She nods meekly, conciously making an effort to avoid looking into his eyes. She failed miserably at that, too. He walked over to her and lightly lifted her chin up with his finger, forcing her to look into his eyes. Damn those green eyes.

Lover Boy: And what are these rules?

Meredith: No sex. No kissing. No touching. No looks. No talk un-work related. Nothing dirty. Nothing that even remotely sounds dirty. No flirting.

Lover Boy: That doesn't sound like much fun.

Meredith: We're working. Work isn't supposed to be fun.

Lover Boy: But we had plenty of fun at work before.

Meredith: Before.

Lover Boy: And we can have plenty of fun at work now.

Meredith: You're breaking the rules.

Lover Boy: That's what we do best.

She pushed him against the wall, dropping the folders in her hand as he lifted her up and tugged at her hair, their lips crashing down together. The door opened seconds later and she pushed him away, straightening her hair and picking up her folders as she scurried away.

Lover Boy: We'll talk later!

Later that day, Lover Boy sidled up to Meredith in the hallway and snaked his hand around the small of her back. She pushed it away without even glancing at him and he responded by placing his hand even lower. She pushed it away, and again, lower. Finally, she turned to look at him, her eyes shooting daggers. He held up his hands in innocence. She rolled her eyes and pulled him into the nearby stairwell. He moved in to kiss her, but she held her hand in front of her mouth.

Meredith: No. We're not doing this. We can't do this. I came out here to get space because there's a lot of crap going on in my life right now and I needed to get some perspective.

Lover Boy: So all those times you told me you wanted to be with me, that you wished I was your husband ... that was a bunch of bs to get me in bed?

Meredith: That ... that is why this is not going to work. You're too needy!

Lover Boy: I was there for you for SIX YEARS, when he wasn't. You cried on my shoulder. I soothed your wounds. Excuse me for wanting something in return after caring for you for SIX YEARS without getting anything in return!

Meredith: Oh you're seriously going to say that? You got nothing in return? So all those times I helped you, all those late nights I stayed up with you ... my love ... it means nothing to you?

Lover Boy: Why are you trying to push me away if you love me? You made a bunch of empty promises because you didn't think you'd have to follow through. You thought you could just string me along. And we finally get our chance, our chance to be happy and in the open and you push me away. You SHOVE me away.

Meredith: I'm ... scared.

Lover Boy: Of WHAT? You KNOW I'm not going to do to you what he did.

Meredith: I can't ... I can't talk to you right now.

She tries to run off, but he stops her with his arm and holds onto her waist, forcing her to look at him.

Lover Boy: Whatever it is, you can tell me.

Meredith: No ... I can't.

Lover Boy: Why not?

Meredith: Because ... it will hurt you. This whole time, you've been like my best friend and I can tell you anything. But this ... you're not going to like what I have to say and I don't want to hurt you.

Lover Boy: What do you think you're doing right now?

Meredith: Fine. I ... I miss him. And I think it was a mistake. And I'm not going to apologize. I can't apologize for how I feel. It's just ... sometimes ... I wish this had never happened. I betrayed my best friend. I betrayed my husband. I betrayed myself. And for what? Is this ... is this really going to work?

Lover Boy: You won't know until you try.

Meredith: But that's the thing ... I do know ... we had a security blanket ... and now it's gone ... and we have to come out from under the covers ... and I can't ... I can't do it. I'm sorry.

Lover Boy: Did you ever think we would work?

Meredith: Yes. But a possibility is a whole hell of a lot different than a reality. I just ... I need to figure things out.

Lover Boy: Sure, sure.

Meredith: So you don't have a problem being just professional?

Lover Boy: Absolutely not, Dr. Grey.

He looked at her with a coldness she had never seen before in his eyes and it rocked her to the core as she watched him exit.


	8. Chapter 8

**Sorry for the long delay – site's been giving me problems. So here's a long update – several updates in one, actually. **

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A week had passed and Lover Boy had went back to California ... for now. Meredith confronted Christina in her office.

Meredith: You paged?

Christina: Uh-huh.

Meredith: Why?

Christina: Apparently, you're very popular.

Meredith: Why do I have a feeling this has to do with my love life?

Christina: Because there are a select few hot doctors and you've slept with most of them.

Meredith: Who is it now?

Christina: Your favorite. Well, maybe second favorite. And it doesn't directly concern him, but I thought I'd give you a heads-up --

Meredith: Get to the point! I have surgery!

Christina: You've been asked to assist on a consult in Seattle.

Meredith: Oh you've got to be kidding me.

Christina: I'm really glad I'm not. Because that look on your face? Priceless.

Meredith: You get way too much enjoyment out of my misery.

Christina: Uh-huh.

Meredith: When am I supposed to go?

Christina: Tomorrow.

Meredith: Thanks for the advance notice.

Christina: I selected what I feel is optimum timing. You'll be freaking out about your impending doom and running around in a frenzy trying to get everything taken care of.

Meredith: What do you mean 'everything'?

Christina: Well you'll be gone for at least three weeks. I might have to come visit, make sure you don't take to Seattle too well.

Meredith: Believe me, I won't. Is he involved at all?

Christina: Maybe. Maybe not.

Meredith: Christina!

Christina: Oh can you blame me? It's way more fun to watch you freak out over a what if.

Meredith: You are evil. Very evil.

Christina: And you love me. Glad we got that straight. Now go get all your files in order. Don't think you're getting off easy today just because you have a flight at 4 tomorrow.

Meredith: That better be P.M.

Christina: Is it ever P.M.?

Meredith rolls her eyes before walking towards the door, pausing to share one last sentiment with Christina.

Meredith: You are SO going to pay for this.

Christina: It'll be worth it.

_Meredith was pacing around the intern locker room, wringing her hands as she talked to Izzie._

Meredith: He said he had made plans for tonight.

Izzie: You guys do that a lot. It's called a date.

Meredith: He told me to dress up and to make sure I got off on time.

Izzie: And why is this unusual?

Meredith: He said if I had to miss out on surgery to get off on time, it would be worth it.

Izzie: He said that? So like if you had the chance to scrub in on a super rare surgery and you missed it so you could get off on time, it would be worth it?

Meredith: That's why I'm freaking out.

Izzie: You think he's going to propose?

Meredith: Have you been listening?

Izzie: You're a little confusing sometimes, OK? I just wanted to make sure I had that clear. So what are you going to wear?

Meredith: Izzie! That is not what I'm freaking out about?

Izzie: You should be. I mean what if he takes you out somewhere and you clash with the table cloth? Like what if he takes you to that place you went on your first date with the purple and orange plaid tablecloths? God those were awful --

Meredith: Izzie! Focus!

Izzie: What am I supposed to be focusing on?

Meredith: What am I going to say?!

Izzie: What are you talking about? You guys are great conversationalists.

Meredith: Izzie!

Izzie: What? Oh! OH! What do you mean what are you going to say? You're going to say yes, aren't you?

Meredith: Yes. No. I DON'T KNOW!

Izzie: Oh.

Meredith: Yea, Oh!

Izzie: Yea that is something to freak out about. I mean you don't know? Shouldn't you know? I mean shouldn't you know if you want to be marry someone? Do you want to marry him?

Meredith: Why wouldn't I want to marry him?

Izzie: Wrong question.

Meredith stops and looks anxiously at Izzie.

Meredith: Why would I want to marry him?

Izzie: Uh-huh.

Meredith: I love him ... and I don't want to live my life without him.

Izzie: Guess you have your answer.

Meredith: Yea ... I guess I do. 

Later that day, Meredith barged into Christina's office and started pacing and waving her arms around. Christina sat back in her chair, plopped her feet on the desk, and watched.

Meredith: This is all your fault ... what am I going to do? I have to see him and I don't know what I'm going to do!

Christina: Which he are we talking about?

Meredith: Mark. What other he would I be talking about?

Christina smirked briefly.

Christina: Oh no one. It's just hard to keep track of the men in your life.

Meredith: There's Mark ... and there's Mark's best friend. Am I missing someone?

Christina: That's a good question.

Meredith: Christina!

Christina: Right. You don't know what to do.

Meredith: I mean, do I want to try to work things out? Do I want a divorce?

Christina: Do you still love him?

Meredith: I don't know! Do you think I would be freaking out if I knew the answer to that?!

Christina: Well you freak out about a lot of things.

Meredith: I freak out when I'm stressed. And right now, I'm very stressed. And it's your fault!

Christina: Don't make this about me. This is your session. We're not talking about me. Me is off the table.

Meredith: What am I supposed to do?

Christina: No one said you had to see him.

Meredith: Christina, have I ever been that lucky?

Christina: Nope.

Meredith: I don't want to hide from my husband.

Christina: And what exactly are you calling this? This thing you're doing now? You know where you and your husband are in separate states and he doesn't know where you are?

Meredith: Space.

Christina: Uh-huh. So just take space from a shorter distance.

Meredith: I have to see him, whether I want to or not. Fate likes to kick me in the ass.

Christina smirks.

Christina: Yes it does.

Meredith: He's my husband and I miss him.

Christina: So that's all there is to it.

Meredith: Yea.

Christina: Aren't you forgetting about something?

Meredith: Huh?

Christina smirks briefly.

Christina: You've just been forgetful lately. I just wanted to make sure you weren't forgetting anything important.

Meredith: I get forgetful --

Christina: When you get stressed out. I know. Go have fun. You can have the night off.

Meredith: I can't have the night off! I need to stay busy!

Christina: You're flying out to Seattle on a 4 o'clock flight and you're representing me so you better be rested. So you're going to go home and go to sleep and wake up and go to the airport and get on that plane and handle that case flawlessly. Is that understood?

Meredith: You're evil.

Christina: Consider it payment for the therapy. Now go! Oh and don't forget to call me when you get there.

Meredith: What are you, my mother?

Christina: No. I just thought you might want to since ... never mind. Have fun.

Meredith ignored Christina's instructions and busied herself around the hospital until 2 A.M. She drove home and packed her clothes before heading out to the airport. She checked her luggage and stopped by the airport bar for a few shots of tequila before boarding her plane. At least Christina had gotten her first class tickets, not that the plane was crowded.

She listened to her iPod and read the briefing she had been given on the case. It was confusing and complicated, but she had no doubt that she would be able to do it. She had never done the exact procedure before -- few had -- but she had done ones similar. She wondered briefly who the cardio attending was that she would be working with, but her mind quickly went back to her husband. She asked the attendant for a bottle of tequila and she finished it off before the flight was over, desperately trying to push all of her worries away. She stumbled to baggage claim and to her waiting car, telling the driver to go straight to her hotel. She knew she was supposed to go to the hospital, to be there for rounds, but she couldn't. She had to go to sleep.

She woke up a few hours later in her hotel room, silently thanking whoever had placed the Tylenol on her nightstand. She headed to her bag, where she had packed some medical equipment, including a banana bag. Facing her imminent doom, she thrived on being able to prepare for anything, hangover included. She had done the procedure so many times that she was able to complete it easily in her drunken state. She let the medicine work its magic before taking a shower and throwing on some clothes. She paused in front of the mirror, taking extra care to make sure she looked good. She called her driver and headed downstairs to grab some breakfast and a cup of coffee before he arrived.

She got in the car, clutching her briefcase and her coffee, closing her eyes and leaning her head back, silently hoping that something, anything, would come to get her out of this situation she was so dreading. She groaned as the car pulled up to the hospital and the driver opened her door. She smiled fakely at him as she snatched up her things and trudged into the hospital. She took everything in as she walked, noticing the high ceiling and bustle of people around her. She made her way to the elevator and pushed the button for her floor, staring at the glowing numbers above her.

And then she heard the voice that turned her already chaotic world upside down.

"Meredith Shepherd. You're late."

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**Read. Love. Review.**


	9. Chapter 9

**Thanks for all the comments! At this point, you're supposed to be confused. Slowly but surely, certain bits will become clear, puzzle pieces will start to fit together. So hang in there! This is the most confusing part. Things will become clear ... soonish. The more comments I get, the sooner soonish is!**

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The doors opened and Meredith bolted out, leaving the speaker smirking. She didn't have to turn around to know who the speaker was. She'd recognize that voice anywhere. Her face was white, as if she had seen, or rather, heard, a ghost. She received a few odd stares from nurses, but she ignored them as she ran into an on-call room. She whipped out her cell phone and furiously dialed. A voice picked up on the other end.

"You couldn't tell me this?"

"You saw him."

"No. I heard him."

"I should point out that I did tell you. You just forgot."

"You couldn't tell me that this was what I was forgetting?"

"And miss out on a frantic phone call? Are you kidding me?"

"Did I do something awful in a previous life?"

"We all did. So what did you do when you heard him?"

"I was in an elevator."

"Oh you two and your elevators."

"Are you ever going to let that go?"

"Is that a serious question? So you were in an elevator."

"And he said 'Meredith Shepherd. You're late.'"

"Well at least he remembers you."

"Why wouldn't he?"

"You didn't remember that I told you he was the cardio attending there."

"He's the cardio attending? Shit!"

"As much as I would love to continue this conversation, my pager's going off."

"Fine. Just leave me to wallow in my impending doom."

"I'll call you later. I'm sure you'll be in full freak-out mode by then."

"What are you talking about?"

"Surely you didn't forget your husband is on the case too?"

"He's on the case?"

"Try not to drown in the tequila bath you're going to take tonight."

Meredith hangs up, banging her head against the wall repeatedly.

"Last I checked, your last name was Sloan. So, do you mind explaining to me why the cardio attending is calling you Meredith Shepherd?"

She shut her eyes as she slid slowly to the floor, banging her head along the way. She was completely and utterly screwed. 

"Mark."

He sat up in the bed he had been lying in and swung his legs over the edge, hopping down from the upper bunk. He stood in front of here, glaring icily. "Do you have to sleep with all of my friends?"

He strode out of the on-call room, leaving Meredith to put her head in her hands before grabbing a pillow to scream into several times. She composed herself and headed down to the cafeteria to grab a cup of coffee. The person in front of her was taking their time and, already frustrated, she sighed loudly and began tapping her foot. She heard a voice from behind her.

"You were never a very patient person."

She whirled around and sighed deeply.

"Oh. It's you."

"What, you're not going to run away this time?"

"Apparently I'm going to have to interact with you eventually. And I really want my coffee."

"You make it sound like it's some kind of horrible punishment to have to work with me."

"When my husband's on the case too, yes, it is.

"Ahh the husband. I was wondering when that would come up. Great marriage you've got there."

She glared at him as she placed her order and grabbed her cup of coffee. He quickly ordered his and led her to a table.

"Did your husband ever have a thing for the Spice Girls?"

She nearly spits out her coffee as she stares wide-eyed at him.

"Excuse me?"

"Well Christina told me about the blonde. Baby Spice."

"I prefer Barbie."

"That's cute. You know, since you had Ken."

"Spice Girls, you say?"

"Uh-huh. He's on Ginger Spice now. Well technically, he was on her an hour ago, but you get my point."

"Ginger Spice?"

"Right over there. They're getting coffee. How cute. Has he seen you yet?"

She whirls around and stares at her husband with his arm around a red-head's waist. She turns back to face her companion.

"What do you think?"

"With your luck, I'd say chances are good. They don't usually come out in public, so you must have really pissed him off."

"He thinks we're sleeping together" 

"And what could have ever put that notion in his head?"

"We're not sleeping together."

"I know. That's why I asked."

"He overheard a phone call and assumed, you know after the whole thing with me and Ken."

"Well aren't you going to go over there and pee on your territory?"

"Excuse me?"

"He's flaunting his girlfriend in front of you, his wife. Obviously, your marriage is pretty much shot to hell, but that doesn't mean you can't leave your mark."

"My marriage is not shot to hell."

"You slept with Ken. He slept with 2/5 of the Spice Girls."

"Is this your way of trying to get in my pants? Telling me my marriage is a failure?"

"This is my way of trying to get you to actually do something about it."

"I'm an avoider. You know that."

"And I'm a pusher. You know that. Go pee on your property."

Meredith rolls her eyes at her companion as she gets up and walks over to her husband and the red-head. They're laughing about something and she feels a pain in her stomach, but pushes it away as she remembers his earlier words. She plasters a smile on her face and an icy glare in her eyes as she approaches.

"I'm Meredith Sloan."

"Sloan?"

"And you must be the woman who's been sleeping with my husband."

"Husband?"

Later that day, Mark and Meredith were in George's office. Mark was pacing around the room, making large gestures, and Meredith was sitting in her chair, smirking and trying not to laugh.

Mark: We have a perfectly good cardio attending. She doesn't need to be here.

George: Our cardio attending is the person who asked for her to come out here.

Mark: Just because he wanted to have sex with her!

Meredith: As much as I love hearing your slut theories about me, I haven't spoken to him since college. We just fell out of touch. And then Christina called him up because I was on the cover of the medical journal and she loves to brag and he wanted to see if I was really as good as she said I was.

Mark stops and stares at her.

Mark: You're not sleeping with him?

Meredith: No. But speaking of sluts, how's Ginger Spice?

Mark: Ginger Spice?

Meredith: You know ... your flavor of the month.

Mark: Addison is not a slut. And she's not a flavor of the month. I love her.

Meredith: Two months. Huh. She must be good. She's got that whole wide-eyed 'he's a brain surgeon' thing going on and you always did like to have your ego stroked. It's a match made in heaven. But here's what I don't get. Wasn't it you this afternoon who was telling me my last name was Sloan? Or was that your twin brother?

George: He doesn't have a twin brother.

Meredith: Thank you, Captain Obvious.

Mark: Legally, your name is Sloan. That can change.

Meredith raised her eyebrows.

Meredith: Is that supposed to be some kind of a threat? Or do you just want to have your cake and eat it too? You can have your little affairs, but I can't. I don't need your last name, Mark. I'm not a little kid and it's not a cookie.

Mark: Fine. I want a divorce.

Meredith smiles wickedly.

Meredith: Until now, I've been trying to be pretty civil. You're my husband and I thought maybe we should try to work it out, for the sake of our vows and the committment we made. And then a good friend pointed out that our marriage is pretty shot to hell already. And that you're the bigger whore here.

She gets up and walks over to him, putting her hands on his shoulders, and staring into his eyes.

Meredith: So don't expect me to be some miserable, begging, pathetic whiner who's going to sit by and watch my husband betray me over and over again. If you've learned anything from our 12 years of marriage, it should be that I'm a sleeping lion. And you've just woken the lion up, so I hope you're ready.

She walks out, pausing to smack his ass one last time. She winks at him and "accidentally" bumps into Addison who had just been "walking by." She puts her arm around her shoulder and drags her off.

Meredith: Addison, we need to talk.

She smiled sweetly at the girl and led her over to a corner. She began talking, and every so often, she made a gesture to the man glaring at her who still stood where she left him in the chief's office. The girl's changed from fear to shock to anger to horror to sad, before finally resting on sinister. The girl turned to glare at the man behind her, who hadn't moved from his spot in the chief's office. She turned back to the woman in front of her. They parted at last, the girl's face all business.

Derek Shepherd smiled broadly as he met the gaze of the smirking woman.

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**So there. Big puzzle piece. I told you things will be clearing up. But this story is just getting started. Read. Love. Review.**


	10. Chapter 10

Meredith entered her hotel room that night, looking visibly tired with bags under her eyes that had appeared in the last few hours and hair falling everywhere. She collapsed on the bed and stared up at the ceiling, and for the first time, she let the tears that she had been pushing down overwhelm her as they fell down her cheeks. She shook as she sobbed. She sobbed for her marriage, for letting her anger get the best of her, for cheating on her husband, for being cheated on, for all the lost memories, for all the remembered memories. She heard a knock on the door but was in no shape to answer it. The door opened and she quickly sniffled and moved to hide herself under the blanket. He stood at the foot of the bed, looking down at her with pity and sadness in his eyes.

"I'm sorry."

She sniffled and peeked her head out from under the covers, pulling them back to let him join her. He quickly moved to lay next to her, taking her in his arms. She let the sobs overtake her once more, as she buried her head in his chest. She cried for what seemed like forever, until she couldn't produce any more tears. She pulled away gently and looked at him, the man who was there for her once again, when she really needed him.

"How did you get in."

"I'm your husband."

"Oh. Why are you here?"

"I wanted to apologize. I didn't mean those things I said earlier. My anger was talking for me. I love you Meredith."

"Did you just come because your whore broke up with you?"

"I came to see if you would take your whore back."

"Alex?"

"Is that a joke?"

"You haven't been my whore for awhile. You're the Spice Girls' whore."

"How sweet."

"Why now? Why are you trying to save our marriage now?"

"I know we're damaged and we're going to have to work hard to fix it. But I want to fix it. I want to get through this with you."

"I don't see how we can."

"Do you love me?"

"Do you love me?"

* * *

The next morning, Meredith crept out of her empty bed, put on her running clothes, and went for a jog along the unknown Seattle trails. She was lost and stumbled onto some private property, naturally. A giant aluminum potato sat in the middle of a large piece of land. She stopped as she saw two figures by the shore. The man was fishing and the woman was nearby doing yoga. She stifled her laughter until she realized who the man was. Doing her best to stand up straight, she continued to laugh harder and harder until the man looked up. He did a double take and when he recognized her, he walked over, catching the attention of the yoga woman.

"Derek! Derek get back here! I need my shade!"

He approached Meredith with a cocky grin on his face.

"How quaint. The fisherman and the yoga student, trying to be one with nature."

"Good morning, Sporty Spice."

"What's with Yogi Bear over there?"

"Jealous?"

"Oh of course. You know I can't live without you. I stalked you to find out where you lived so I could show up and we could have some early morning sex. Can you get rid of Yogi Bear so we can have our fun?"

"You are so jealous."

"I'm really surprised you can stand upright with a head that big."

"Her name's Melody."

"Of course it is."

"She's my girlfriend."

"Well most one-night-stands don't stick around to do their morning exercises ... well exercise like that, at least."

"Do you want to meet her?"

"I think I just might join her."

"What?"

"I used to do yoga all the time."

"Oh ... yea ... right."

"I'm a little rough around the edges, but I'm sure it'll come back to me. Oh look, she's doing that wrong."

Derek turns to see Melody trying to twist herself but going about it the wrong way.

"Well now I have to go help her. I mean you can't have your little sex bunny hurt herself, can you?"

Meredith smirks at Derek as she walks over to Melody.

"What are you doing?"

She turns and smiles broadly at him.

"Weren't you always going on about how you were into threesomes?"

"Seriously?"

"Have you always been this gullible or is this a new thing?"

Meredith walks over to Melody and corrects her stance and proceeds to lead her in a few complex poses, stretching herself out. After a bit, she gets up and walks over to Derek, who hasn't moved.

"You OK?"

"Uh-huh."

"I'll see you at work nature boy."

* * *

**Read. Love. Review. The next update is quite possibly my favorite update I've ever written for any of my stories. And I know you guys are frustrated with all the confusion. It will clear up soon!**


	11. Chapter 11

**Erm. I'm a bad updater. Really, I have no good reason for not getting this up sooner. Things just got super busy and I just ... forgot. I'll try to make this super long to make up for it! And the first part of this update ... I think it's my favorite update I've ever written for any of my fics.**

**Oh, and as for just what Meredith and Derek's relationship is/was ... well you'll have to wait!**

* * *

Derek was walking down the hallway that afternoon when he heard a voice behind him.

"Can I talk to you?"

He turned and flashed a brief smile as the man caught up to him.

"That depends."

"On?"

"Is this about a patient? Or is this about Meredith?"

"She's my wife."

Derek's face goes blank, but there seems to be a hint of disdain in both his eyes and his voice. "I hear you're in the running for husband of the year."

"What's going on between you two?"

"We're working on a case together, with you."

"I'm just trying to see where your loyalty lies."

"You mean which cheating whore do I favor? You're my friend. She was my friend. She's leaving in a week. What you do about your marriage is your business, but I'm not getting involved."

"So you're not sleeping together?" Mark questions, his eyes narrowed and his arms crossed.

"I have a girlfriend. You know, Melody, the yoga instructor?"

"That didn't answer my question."

"Actually, it did, because I'm not an adulterous whore."

"I never should have told you about that."

"No, its fine, I'm glad I know about the Spice Girls. You really get around."

"What did you just say to me?"

"Are you trying to hurt her?"

"I don't remember ever asking you to advise me."

"So was the reconciliation a phase? Who's next? Olivia? 'Cause I hear she likes to sleep around. You two have that in common."

"You don't get to call me a whore or an ass. When I met her, I thought I had found the person that I was going to spend the rest of my life with. I was done. So all the girls and all the bars and all the obvious monogamy issues, who cared, because I was done. She slept with my best friend. I thought I could get over it, but I can't. I'm all glued back together now. I make no apologies for how I chose to repair what she broke. You don't get to call me a whore. You get around as much as I do."

"This thing with us is finished. It's over."

"Finally."

"Yeah, it's done."

"It is done."

Both men turned around and stalked off, Derek not making it far before he ran into someone.

Meredith: Just curious ... how many times are you planning to call me a whore?

Derek: Sorry.

Meredith: Old habits die hard.

Derek: You know I didn't mean it.

Meredith: That's what you said last time.

Derek: He's an ass.

Meredith: So are you.

Derek: Let me make it up to you.

Meredith: You really need to come up with a new way to apologize. I've heard that speech too many times.

Derek: Come get drunk with me tonight.

Meredith: Like I said, old habits die hard.

Derek: I'm not asking you to have sex with me.

Meredith: You say that now.

Derek: It's just drinks.

Meredith: You know how I get with alcohol.

Derek: Are you honestly trying to tell me you're sober?

Meredith: Hell no. I just haven't slept with any inappropriate men lately.

Derek: I have a girlfriend.

Meredith: Who said you're inappropriate?

Derek: What are you saying?

Meredith: I'm saying I'm still pissed at you and I want to get drunk and you would be a very appropriate rebound and I'm not having sex with you. There's no fun in appropriate rebounds."

Derek: I can be inappropriate.

Meredith: You have a girlfriend. And apparently, being an adulterous whore is something I do so often that it's no longer inappropriate.

Derek: I was talking about him.

Meredith: I'm hardly the victim here.

Derek: You need to get drunk.

Meredith: You want to get in my pants.

Derek: You're a little too depressing and self-righteous.

Meredith: Pick me up at 8.

* * *

Because she had done something horrid in a previous life, that afternoon, Meredith found herself stuck in an elevator with her husband. Or ex-husband. Or Mark. And Derek. When the elevator stopped, she closed her eyes, hoping to open them to find it was just a nightmare. Unfortunately, her wish was not granted and her eyes drifted to the ceiling as she sunk to the ground, refusing to look at either of them. The two men looked at each other, then her, then each other, before backing away into their separate corners, staring straight ahead. She sat between them, against the back wall. The silence seems to stretch for hours before she breaks it.

Meredith: What the hell is going on with you two? Are you having some kind of sick lover's quarrel?

The two men glance briefly at each other.

Mark: He has a girlfriend.

Derek: So does he. And a wife.

Meredith: Thank you for that recap I really didn't need. I'm supposed to be the one giving the cold shoulder here.

She directs her gaze to Mark.

Meredith: You cheated on me. Twice. You tell me you want a divorce, then you tell me you want to work things out, then you throw a hissy fit and I don't know what the hell you want! You're toying with me like I'm a freaking puppet! I'm your wife! Being a cheating bastard does not give you the right to play with my emotions like I don't have any!

She directs her gaze to Derek

Meredith: And you! You called me a whore! Again! And you have a girlfriend. And you keep trying to be all sweet and all McDreamy-ish and you keep screwing up everything I'm trying to do! I have enough problems to be freaking out about and you just complicate everything else!

Derek: I'm sorry.

Meredith: And you say sorry way too much! My point is, I don't know what I ever saw in either of you. You're both immature bastards. You both pull me apart until I can't stretch anymore and then instead of seeing if I'm OK, you focus all of your energy being mad at each other for some stupid unknown reason.

Mark: I'm not mad at him for some stupid unknown reason. I just have a major problem with people who are in love with my wife.

Derek: I'm not in love with your wife. She's not your wife. You lost the right to call her your wife. I'm not in love with anyone.

Meredith: Would you two shut up? I'm not done ranting!

She directs her gaze towards Mark.

Meredith: You don't get to be jealous. I'm done letting you play around with me. We're done. Over. Finished.

Mark: Meredith --

Meredith: SHUT UP!

He gets down on her level, crouching down in front of her, making her look at him.

Mark: No. I'm not going to shut up. I'm not just going to let you tell me our marriage is over. You're not the only one involved here. I know I've hurt you. And I know you've hurt me. And I know this is a pretty crappy marriage right now, but I want to fix it. No more games. I want to try here, really try here. We can't give up on this. It's not going to be easy. It's not supposed to be easy. But we're going to get through this, together.

Derek speaks, his voice dripping with disgust as he stares straight ahead.

Derek: Don't listen to him. It's an empty promise. Sure, he'll stick with it for a little while. But as soon as things start to look like they're going to be OK, he'll hurt you again.

Meredith turns her gaze upon Derek.

Meredith: You don't get to involve yourself in this. This is my life and I think you made it pretty damn clear you didn't want to be involved in it.

Derek: You want to go back to that piece of scum? Fine. Don't say I didn't warn you. But you and I both know that if Christina had given you the same advice, you would have listened to her. Don't let your feelings towards me cause you to make a big mistake.

The elevator doors finally open and Derek stalks off, Meredith staring at his retreating form, her mouth agape as the truth of his words hit her like a slap in the face. She turns back to Mark and slaps him across the face before quickly getting up and scurrying away.

* * *

At 8:15 that night, Meredith walked into the bar across the street. Her eyes quickly landed on a man with dark wavy hair and blue eyes. She approached him and sat on the stool next to him.

Derek: You came.

Meredith: You were supposed to pick me up.

Derek: I didn't think you still wanted to come.

Meredith: If I didn't need to drink before, I definately need to drink now.

Derek: Very true.

Meredith: So my work here is pretty much done. I think you can handle it from here. I just ... I can't do this anymore. I need to get away from him ... and you ... I can't do this anymore ... I have to go back.

Derek: Don't go.

Meredith: I have to.

Derek: No. You can't go. I lost you once and I'm not going to lose you again Meredith Shepherd.

Meredith: Derek ...

Derek: You never call me Derek.

For the first time that day, a smile plays at the corners of her lips before it quickly fades.

Meredith: We're not the same people we were then. I got married. And you got a girlfriend.

Derek: And you're getting divorced and I don't have a girlfriend.

Meredith: What happened to Melody?

Derek: I wasn't flexible enough for her.

Meredith: Ouch.

Derek: I miss my best friend.

Meredith: So do I. That's why I have to go back.

Derek: Please ...

Meredith: I can't Derek. I can't do this with you ... whatever this is. We can't be friends anymore. We're not friends. We haven't been friends for a long time. It's just too complicated. I came out here for a case and that's handled now. It's time for me to go.

Meredith had begun taking a shot after each statement she made to him. He gazed upon her with a worried glance as he lightly but firmly placed his hand on her arm. She glared at his arm briefly before turning her glare to him and unsuccessfully trying to shake his arm away.

Meredith: Don't touch me.

Derek: You're drunk.

Meredith: And you're touching me. Stop touching me.

Derek: Stop drinking.

She picks up the full shot glass in front of her and smiles defiantly at him as she downs it in one gulp, without so much as a flinch.

Derek: This isn't a game.

Meredith: It's always a game with you.

Derek: You need to get out of here.

Meredith: You have no right to tell me what I need to do. You lost that right. Only friends have that right.

Derek: Meredith ...

Meredith: Just .. get away from me. Stay away from me. If I want to drink myself into a coma, that's my choice.

Derek: But you would only be doing it to spite me.

Meredith: Damn you and your reverse psychology. Joe, call me a cab.

Derek: I'll take you back to your hotel.

Meredith: I'm not going back to my hotel, and even if I was, you wouldn't be going with me. It's funny how you call someone a whore one minute and then try to get in their pants the next. You didn't have a problem with me being a whore, if I was your whore. That's all I ever was to you.

Derek: Don't say that. That's not true.

Meredith: The sad thing is, there was a time when I could believe that.

Joe: Your cab's here.

Meredith stumbles out of her seat and heads towards the door, shooting a death glare in Derek's direction when he starts to get up. She manages to get into the cab and tells the driver to step on it, giving him her destination. 

**

* * *

I'm taking pity on you all ... answering a few questions, possibly clearing some things up.**

--Loverboy's identity has been revealed. It was subtle, but it was there. You can debate it amongst yourselves.  
--You know who Derek is in all of this ... you just don't know you know. Put the puzzle pieces together.  
--Mark doesn't have a best friend anymore. He had a new best friend, after loverboy, but things happen. Like whore fights.  
--Christina knows _everything_.  
--There's some animosity between Meredith and Derek. I've dropped hints as to why, but you'll find out soon enough. But at the moment they're torn. Because the last time they saw each other, before all this, things didn't go well. But before that, they had something good. And they miss it. Now what that something was, I'm not ready to reveal.

**Oh and I'm curious -- like I said, I have most of this written and it changes later in the story to being written more like a story -- but for now, do you guys prefer the script format or the quotes format? I think it gets confusing with the quotes at this point because I use the scripts to clarify who's talking. I can change that if you guys don't like the script format, but updates may take a while longer to get up.**


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